I don’t usually go into a film without knowing anything about it. In fact I think that the last time I did, I was about 16!

Anyway, I found myself bored and noticed that Solomon Kane was on Sky movies, I hadn’t seen it so figured what they hey, I’ll take a look.

I’m writing this whilst the film is still on, it’s the usual last half-hour epic fight bit, and I remain completely un-impressed. Well that’s not completely true; the stuntman fighting whilst on fire is pretty impressive!

The film itself is a lesson in how not to try and do the sword and sandals ‘epics’. It’s full of clunky dialogue, some amazingly poor CGI in the final scenes (think children’s cartoon CGI) and some bored looking actors.

James Purefoy plays Solomon, a killer who’s renounced killing but then returns to killing to avenge a family that he’s just met whose daughter is kidnapped. Though he does return to killing too late to stop the young boy of the family from being killed…oh sorry, that was a spoiler, but don’t worry, this film is so bad I’m sure you won’t care once it’s done.

In fact, lots of the film involves witches taking people’s eyes out and I found myself wishing they would do the same to me so I wouldn’t have to watch anymore of this dross!

There’s some big actors in the movie such as Max Von Sydow, the late great Pete Postlethwaite, Mackenzie Crook (briefly) and Jason Flemyng but unfortunately none of them are able it.

Maybe the problem lies with the writer and director? Michael J. Bassett is guilty on both fronts, but perhaps that’s being unfair. He did write and direct Deathwatch as well which isn’t a bad little film.

I don’t have the answers (for much!) but I know what I don’t like and this one is definitely not on my Christmas list!

PURCHASE:

You can buy Solomon Kane on DVD here: Solomon Kane (DVD)

You can buy Solomon Kane on Blu-Ray here: Solomon Kane (Blu-Ray)

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