It’s not often that I go into a movie knowing little to nothing about it. Sometimes it’s been a good thing, sometimes a movie can thrill, excite and surprise. However I tend to find that if I go into a movie without knowing anything about it, it’s because it’s not going to be very good.

There’s no two-ways about it, Seventh Son definitely falls into the latter category. It’s a confused, lump of a movie. The dialogue is awful, the ‘witty’ moments or one-liners just aren’t funny and the story doesn’t seem to know what it’s doing or where it’s going.

The story, such that it is, goes thus: A master – known as a Spook – Jeff Bridges, finds an apprentice, Ben Barnes (Chronicles of Narnia, Stardust), who has to be a seventh son for reasons which are given but don’t seem to be true.

Bridges needs a new apprentice as all the others have died, most recently Kit Harington (Game of Thrones) who is killed by the evilest of evil witches Mother Malkin, Julianne Moore looking awesome. So master and apprentice set out to kill evil witch and her hench people, who all seem to have different ‘powers’, and thus save the world from being scorched and ruled by said evil witch.

Obviously there’s a love interest for both master and apprentice, Bridges, well I won’t spoil it but it’s no surprise though I think it’s meant to be. Barnes gets Alicia Vikander (Ex Machina, A Royal Affair) who’s also a witch but he obviously can’t kill her as he loves her.

Simple enough premise so how the writers have got it so wrong is beyond me. I’m guessing the script was passed from pillar to post in an attempt to do I’m-not-sure-what, but it hasn’t worked. What you do get is occasionally repeating of story elements or even dialogue by different characters, it’s bizarre.

The movie is based on The Spook’s Apprentice by Joseph Delaney. Charles Leavitt (K-PAX, Blood Diamond), Steven Knight (Locke, Peaky Blinders), Matt Greenberg (Reign of Fire) take on writing duties. The fact there are so any writers always spells (excuse the pun) trouble in my opinion.

Sergey Bodrov (Mongol) directs and there’s plenty of pretty shots of CGI’d landscapes, I can’t say much more than that really.

As far as acting goes, look I love Jeff Bridges, the guy is a legend but even he struggles here. It doesn’t help that he seems to talk as if he’s trying to impersonate Bane (from Batman) all the time, which gets annoying very quickly.

Julianne Moore is good though all her scenes seem rushed, I can’t decide if that’s the writing or the directing…editing? Maybe all, who knows, frankly after nearly two hours of this movie who cares!

PURCHASE:

You can buy Seventh Son on DVD over on Amazon: Seventh Son (DVD)

You can buy Seventh Son on Blu-Ray and Digital Copy over on Amazon: Seventh Son (Blu-Ray + Digital Copy)

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