It’s the future, as we’re told quite a lot, and the Earth has frozen over. We’re in Arizona chasing enhanced, created humanoids who have gone rogue. Chasing them are further enhanced humans after the ring leader to put an end to it all.

I admire anyone who has created a movie, particularly something self-financed or with limited budget. It can’t be easy and whatever you produce will always see you judged against, larger, big budget efforts.

I went into 2307: Winter’s Dream knowing absolutely nothing about it, but within the first few minutes I believed I was watching a first-time writer/director at work.

Imagine my surprise then, to find that for director Joey Curtis (Quattro Noza, The Pimp and the Rose) this is his fourth gig and sixth as a writer, based on a story by Paul Sidhu who is also the lead actor.

I mention this because, and there’s not really a nice way to say this, 2307: Winter’s Dream is a spectacularly bad film.

The story is completely incoherent, despite a relatively simple plot of Paul Sidhu (The Black Russian, Aakhari Decision) looking for his daughter who was kidnapped by ASH-393, Branden Coles (Grass Roots (TV), Frank’s Inertia), the now leader of the humanoids.

The acting is just awful, I’ve seen late-night TV dramas where the actors have shown more sincerity and ability. Take the simple scene of Sidhu climbing up an ice ravine and, for reasons best known to himself, grunts with each hit of the ice-pick, pulling faces like some cheesy 80’s action hero.

Then we get to the directing, don’t expect to be able to actually see any of the action taking place as we’re into shaky cam territory here and it’s some of the worst you’ll see.

The rest of Sidhu’s team, who follow him to kill this humanoid, are as expendable and memorable as the extra person in Star Trek who beams down to the planet.

Arielle Holmes (Heaven Knows What, American Honey) plays some Nazi loving action woman with all the likeability and charisma of a wooden door. Kelcey Watson (Escape the Night, Cowboys vs Dinosaurs) plays the shouty action-hero, badly, with Timothy Lee DePriest (Westworld (TV), Sons of Anarchy( TV)) hardly used.

Each of them is dispatched extremely simply, given I think they’re supposed to be some-kind of elite squad. We know nothing about them, but that’s ok because you won’t care anyway.

Branden Coles sticks out like a sore thumb as he enunciates every word in his British accent (why would US scientists create humanoids with a British, London accent?). Having said that, he’s probably the best of the actors on display here, he’s just in the wrong role.

When Sidhu does, eventually, find his daughter he just gives her up. Despite not five minutes beforehand saying that he “can’t live without her” (even though he only recently discovered she was actually alive).

And let’s not even talk about the voice-over throughout by Sidhu, which is comical with his attempt at a 60-a-day gravelly voice.

One to miss I think.

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